The opposite of the testimonial, AKA 5 reasons why some of my clients never created the success story they were destined to have

I am writing to you fellow coach about the coaching clients whom no matter what, will not break through. Have you come across with clients like that? I have. I believe you have too. It is bound to happen, especially in the beginning, when building your coaching business. It repeats until you hone your message to the degree, that mostly your yummiest ideal clients resonate with your message. Even though these clients who struggle to break through exist, we don't often speak about them. I suppose it is because it doesn't make a very sexy testimonial, does it?

I have helped many coaches to get their business on its wings. I consider that as part of the ripple effect I create in this world. Those success stories are part of my legacy. However, there are other kinds of stories too. Why is it that some still never get the wind beneath their wings and fly?

So I know writing about this is the opposite of a testimonial, but I am not going to sit here and pretend, that every client I have ever worked with has magically succeeded.
Of course not. Firstly, it has never been up to me. It has always been up to my client. I may be the catalyst to help it happen, but they own their successes - and the lack thereof.

My coach explains it something like this: The success client will get out of each coaching session is directly proportionate to the availability she has towards the breakthrough she is seeking. The more the client is open to receive, the more she will receive and the more then becomes available to her. It has to do with things like her coachability, mindset, money consciousness etc. They are the magical moments when after the session, you both look at each other and wonder what just happened, and the only way to explain it is that it feels like a quantum leap took place. These are amazing moments, and if it were up to me, they would happen to every client I ever have in every session. However, it isn't always like that.

There are other kinds of clients who leave you without those experiences. That is what I want to write about today.

What happens in your coaching practice when a client leaves you? I have a client leaving protocol. Every time a client leaves me, I look into the process. What went well, what didn't go so well, what would I do differently given the opportunity? I look into the results and behavioural patterns of the client. The way they treated assignments and the way they were present in the coaching sessions and showed up. There are two sides to this, and the other side involves you looking into the way you have been in the process as a coach too, but let's focus on the client's behaviours.

The way the success leaves clues, lack of success does the same and here is what I have found to ring true (and often more than one) in every client study where results haven't been in alignment with the expectations.

1. I wanted the success for my client more than she wanted it for herself. Moreover, no matter how much I wanted it, I couldn't do it for her. This type of client can be very committed in the process when you get her in the same space with you, but as soon as you are not there, she will move on to the next shiny thing. She feels like a lot to handle, truth is, she simply is not ready to take the responsibility of her results, and it is not up to you to create that for her.

2. Client's need to be right or them experiencing fear of change. This is the client who will always return to the same old conclusion and find all the reasons why that is true for her and she remains stuck.

3. The client needed everything right away. She jumped the gun and never built the solid foundation of strategy, messaging and relationships before started to throw spaghetti on the wall to see what sticks. In business, there is always a proper marching order and let me be really clear: It does not begin with what to post on Instagram.

4. The client was on the right path and got afraid that she won't make it and went for the quick fix and magic bullet instead. I have no sugary way to say this, so I am just going to speak the truth to this. We all know it - there is no magic bullet, quick fix or fast win. EVERYTHING takes time, effort and focused attention. Everything. So why would you keep falling into that trap of quick fixes over and over again? I know for a fact this happens for so many. I know it because I am a marketer, and I see the data, which speaks volumes. When I write words like easy, quick, fast, instant, effortless, free... the clicks pour in.

I have said this often, and I will say it many more: If you listen to your heart - the answer is there. You do what you are called to do, and you find a solution for every problem you face, that is your journey as an entrepreneur, that is the ladder you climb. You cannot duct tape your business together; you need to build it from ground up like every one of us.

5. In the time of leap, the client didn't leap, but retrieved back instead, and that inevitably made her stop growing and to begin shrinking. It is heartbreaking for me because this is where time collapses and quantum leaps happen. This is where you start to operate through faith, faith in the Universe, in yourself and in your ability to grow a meaningful business that creates a positive impact in people's lives.

As we realise that not every client can have a streak of breakthroughs all the time in every session, it is also essential to understand, that even when it doesn't happen, it doesn't lessen the value of that session. Coaching someone is a process, and it will take the time it will take. Trusting the process and the timing is the gift you can give to your client. Allowing space and pace the client needs, will develop the relationship between you and your client deeper and build a foundation where building long-lasting coaching relationships can happen.

It is now your job to differentiate the clients that are not in the time in their lives where they benefit from coaching from those who will take their sweet time and then fly.

Much love,
Mari